5 things you need the next school year

The new school year is coming up. Here are five things you didn't have last year, but you might want to buy this year.

1. Anti-pervert stockings

Because you wouldn't want that pervert teacher to ask you for "detention", would you?

2. Flasktie

Have a drink hidden in your tie. Take a sip when the teacher isn't watching.

3. Lunch bag that makes your sandwich look molded

Stops your food from being stolen: nobody wants it anymore!

4. Utensil pens

Use as pens during class, and as utensils in the cafeteria.

5. Ostrich pillow

Aaah, peace and quiet. Just what you go to school for!

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